Need some counsel

I have a friend who is in a pretty bad place right now, she thinks she’s worthless, that she’s no good to anyone and she practices a bit of self-harm when she’s stressed. I’m wondering if any of you might have some advice or links that I can point her to? Coming from experiences of mild depression, I understand that everyone has to find their own way and come to hope in their own way and in their own time but I want to try to help if I can.

Maybe there isn’t anything I can say but I’ll never know until I ask.


3 thoughts on “Need some counsel

  1. yesterday, i wrote about some things i felt when i was suicidal.

    i felt alone, no one cared, no one listened. with that, gone was a reason to leave live.

    counter each and everyone of those thought frequently.

    1. ask what’s going on her life that makes them feel so low. ask them about their feelings.

    2. listen, seriously listen. this is not a time to fire off 50 solutions to every problem. that’s not listening and your friend will know it. mirror statements. acknowledge where they are at; that sounds tough, that sounds hard, wow, i can see why you would be struggling, are some examples.

    3. show you care. this exercise, done correctly, will help.

    4. show that you are there for her. remind her when you can contact her, hopefully anytime can be your answer.

    i heard the above from my therapist years again and it continues to make sense, today. the don’t do its doesn’t work because suicidal people are often defiant and when they are don’t, they will hear do. the stream of fixes can be frustrating. believe me, i had tried most of the fixes and being told solutions that i had tried and didn’t work, didn’t help


    • Thanks for the idea, she seems to be feeling better already. she goes through these phases where she feels that way a lot and as much as I feel it would help to talk to a professional about the self-harm, I am reluctant to suggest that because I’m afraid it might drive her away and that’s the last thing she needs.

      Liked by 1 person

      • that’s the funny but sad thing. people in dire straights don’t often want to hear suggestions, solutions, help or ideas. if they hear too many of them, they will be turned off and turn away. that’s why it is often good to check the solutions, suggestions, help or ideas in those situations unless they ask for some.


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