aggressive behavior

We’ve been getting calls from the little boy’s school reporting that he is hitting other students and even his teacher, walking out of class and talking disrespectfully.

He’s 5 but his command of expressive language, though it’s way better than it was before, is still not at the point where he can really tell us why he’s doing these things.

I suspect part of it has to do with him being bullied by his sister who is 19 months older than her little brother, especially on weekends when they’re not away from each other.

Now, these behaviors have only been recent in the last two weeks or so and before that, maybe a month before, we changed his IEP to increase his kindergarten time since he was doing so well in pre-k and was so far ahead of the other kids in that class.

Since he does have some delays, he’s in a combination pre-k/kinder program for this year.

do you have any suggestions on how to address what is becoming a weekly, if not daily occurrence?

what does a lack of consequences look like?

The little boy hit a little girl at the park so I made him apologize to her and her dad and then we came home. He’s got to understand that there are consequences for actions even if he apologizes. The teenager does that shit all the time, says he’s sorry to his mom about whatever stupid thing he’s done and the behavior never changes. She didn’t take his truck away from the other night when he didn’t let us know where he was and didn’t come in until 4 in the morning and she was awake worried about him all night. She said that the next time it happens, she will take his truck but I know it won’t happen. this idea of threatening consequences and then they’ll stop is bullshit. eventually it loses its effect because the kids know that nothing will really happen.

another self-evident truth

I haven’t been awake for half an hour and the little boy scribbled on one of the little girls hello kitty toys and the wife said “next time you scribble on something that’s not yours, I’m going to spank your but” which will never happen because it never does. She likes to talk about consequences and says that the threat of a consequence is enough but I’m not so sure if this is adequate parenting. Consequences don’t have to be physical but there has to be something. I sometimes deeply ponder ways to escape all the talking, fighting, yelling and threats of an absurd meaningless nature, to a world where silence reigns and the choices of sounds would be mine.