summertime…and the feeling is grumpy

Those of you who have started following my blog recently are probably aware that I am not a fan of the summer season and if you didn’t know that, now you do.

After the decision not to put the kids in a day camp for the summer because the wife wants to save up for a pool and new windows, it’s been two weeks and already I want to bring this topic back up.

I don’t often bring up my disability because, even though it is an integral part of my existence, it’s not something that I allow to define who I am and even saying it that way seems to give it a negative connotation, which isn’t meant at all.

The reality is, I am limited on what I can do with the kids. I can’t just get in the car and take them out to going bonkers or to the water park or to McDonalds, as much as I detest that particular establishment, at least it has a playground where the kids can be active.

They don’t want to go to the park because this is Texas and it’s unbearably hot around here which brings up the question, Why the hell do I even live here during the summer? I told a friend of mine the other day that I was moving to Iceland next summer and she just laughed at me.

They watch television, we play hide and seek, I’m a human jungle gym which is all okay for a while. The little girl wants to eat all the time and though I understand that children are going to eat when they want, partly because of going through growing spurts, I wonder how much of that desire to eat is out of boredom?

The wife yells ‘I’m working” when the kids go into her office and I feel like asking her “are your pool and windows worth you yelling at the kids and having them bored because, by virtue of my limitations, they aren’t as engaged as they could be if you would just stop fucking worrying about the god damned money, which, by the way, she just got a raise.

at moments like this, I feel like a horrible parent because I don’t know the best ways to keep them engaged a lot of the times and though I provide for their needs, “I’m the one who changed the diapers, I’m the one who reads to them for the most part, I put them to bed, get them breakfast and lunch and sometimes dinner. The wife bathes them and cooks sometimes, manages the money and works on the house but inwardly bemoans the fact that she doesn’t have more land.

The teenager is so lazy at home that, we have a chocolate cake in the refrigerator but he won’t get it out and cut himself a piece. If the wife did it, he’d be all over it but if I try to cut the cake or a pie, people complain that I don’t cut it straight. Fuck these assholes, fucking shits. To hell with them.

I’m on a mom’s group on Facebook and I’ve asked for some suggestions and we do have a friend who takes the kids once in a while.

Like I said before, it’s not that I don’t want them around, they need stimulation and engagement which is why such summer programs exist in the first place.


One thought on “summertime…and the feeling is grumpy

  1. wonderdaze says:

    I think we all have our limitations as parents and we need support and fulfillment outside of family life. It’s tough finding that balance. Hope you get some good suggestions (online educational games,books, puzzles, art or science projects?) Too bad the summer camps didn’t end up happening!!


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