it’s only temporary

At first I was just going to comment on this fantastic post by one of my favorite bloggers but then decided that I needed to share the post and encourage all of you to follow her blog.

This post made me think of my wife’s most annoying mantra, "it’s only temporary"

When there’s construction stuff all over a room like the kitchen because she’s painting or the second floor because she’s laying wood and I get a little annoyed, not at the fact that she likes working on the house but it’s just me. I’m a very organized person especially in my physical environment, partly because of necessity as I’m sure other blind people are.

but she says "it’s only temporary"

When she has to work late at a job that she’s hated for the last year to 18 months and it’s not just one night but 2, 3, or a whole week, she’ll say "It’s just temporary"

When she was laying tile at the other house we were living in before we moved to this one and there was a lot of construction stuff all over the house since it wasn’t just one room, she said "it’s just temporary"

Then, when I read the post that I linked to earlier, I began to wonder, how often do things that are "Just temporary" morph into things that seem relatively permanent?

She’s in a lot of pain from her heel and going to have to have surgery but she’s still working on the house and I said "you’re health is more important than getting this appraisal done right now" and then there was the "but…"

Getting a little personal, because I can and it’s my blog, 3 or 4 years ago, I brought up the subject of intimacy or, rather, the lack of it over the last year or 2 at that point, and she said "I don’t have the desire energy or time for sex". The energy and desire I can understand because of a low thyroid, though she says that things are coming back to normal but still no initiation of anything really. however, there’s the ‘I don’t have time" excuse which will never go away even if the other components magically heal themselves overnight.

and I’m sure way back then, she said "this is just temporary" as well.

In that regard, I just feel defeated because I’ve tried and my attempts were pretty rebuffed so after a while, I just quit and maybe I’m in the wrong for doing that as well but when I approach the topic and her question is "what do you want" like just exploring and holding isn’t enough to start with, I feel like it’s a destination rather than a journey of rediscovery, if that makes sense.

Sure, everything is temporary and I told her, "even a terminal illness is temporary because, eventually you’ll die"

and that, friends of my morbid and twisted mind, is the only permanent event in this world.

I’ll end with a bright note. Today the weather outside was perfect for my first time walking the little girl to school. The wife had to go to meetings today and tomorrow so I walked my daughter to school. Usually she does that so I can take care of the little boy should he decide to wake up while she’s gone. the teenager got up without complaining and actually stayed awake the whole time I was gone and it was a very enjoyable walk.

I hope that all of you are doing well and I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for following my little blog, even though it can be a bit pessimistic and not the happiest thing to read. Thank you also for your blogs which, though I do sometimes get behind in reading, I thoroughly enjoy everything you write.


4 thoughts on “it’s only temporary

  1. That’s the first time you’ve said “my daughter” and my hear just glowed at that. Fuck the other shit. I’m so happy you were able to walk with her to school and enjoy it back.
    Seems like everything w/”the wife” is always temporary. Just sad for you and the wee ones in the end. But I still think you’re great!


  2. mewhoami says:

    It sounds to me that your wife has gotten distracted and just needs to be reminded of what’s important. Sometimes our priorities get mixed up and the more time we allow ourselves to drift away, the hard it is for us to come back. BUT, it is certainly possible. I did it. Instead of holding a grudge against her and being stubborn (this is what most men do when they get upset), take her out. Do something different. Something sweet. Take her away from the environment that she’s gotten so wrapped up in, so that she can once again discover you and the relationship you two have together. She just needs to be reminded of why she married you to begin with, so that she can work at getting her priorities straight again. That’s obviously just my opinion, but it worked for me so I thought I’d share it with you.


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