I know that I haven’t written very much here lately and a friend of mine also noticed and she said "things must not be pissing you off"> I said "No, that’s not true" and then thought, who wants to hear a broken record so I really haven’t blogged about the same old stupid shit pissing me off, it’s just another variation, kids not listening, the wife saying that she’s tired of yelling and hearing me yell and I know that I’m not the only parent who has that problem.

They just won’t listen at all to either of us and if yelling doesn’t work, if spanking either doesn’t work or isn’t an alternative approach, and if timeouts don’t work, what’s left? I just don’t know and when I call the children and they don’t answer and I go looking for them in places where I think they’d be and still, no response, at those moments, I think "being a blind parent really sucks".

And when they don’t’ listen to me, the wife just stands there and yells at them to "listen to your fucking daddy" and I think to myself "what good does that do"?

So lately I’ve had these thoughts that if no one is going to listen to me, which means that they don’t have any respect for me, why the hell should I even be around. I might as well be invisible, the results would be the same. Oh wait, no they wouldn’t. Who would put the dishes in the dishwasher and do the laundry and hang up her stupid clothes and try to remind people to do shit around here which I have to do over and over and over because no one remembers a fucking thing around here and then I feel like a nag because I have to repeat myself to the same people to get the same shit done and it annoys the hell out of me.

I’m even a bit behind on other blogs so I have to apologize for not interacting and commenting like I usually try to.

I’ve been keeping pretty busy with music, working on a lot of different collaborations, playing live on the internet quite a bit and all those sorts of things.

We’re getting my non-birthday cake on Saturday since the 24th repetition of my 25th year is happening on Tuesday and the teenagers girlfriend is coming in for the weekend and the wife says that she doesn’t want them sleeping in the same house at night so he’s going to sleep over at her dad’s house.

Her logic is that they need time away from each other each day to decompress and process things apart and that it’s not just about the potential for them to have sex in the house.

He asked her if they could stay in his room upstairs and watch tv and she said "as long as the door is open". The funny thing about that is she’ll likely be downstairs sitting on the couch in the family room watching tv herself or in her office so how could she possibly hear if they’re having sex on the second floor. Maybe she doesn’t know that it’s possible to have sex and be quiet about it. I don’t even think she’s talked to him about condoms but then, there are a lot of times when they talk when I’m not around and I get that to a degree, after all, he really is her kid and I’m just the step-parent. I don’t feel a sense of diminished responsibility, being the step, and I’m not really one for labels, after all, he’s never called me dad and when I suggested years ago that he could, he just said it was awkward and we never talked about it again.

I was wondering, after the kids were born if they would be confused that they call me dad and he calls me Scott but so far, they don’t seem to think anything of it and as far as I know, when I was going to move in with her when the teenager was 6, she didn’t really even talk to him about me, she just said that I’d be another warm body in the house, or something like that.


6 thoughts on “updates

  1. Anxious Mom says:

    If blogging help, I say do it, whether you think it’s repetitive or not. And as another blogger told me when voicing similar concerns, your followers are here because we want to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s all just baffling. You’re wife really has no clue about anything. And you know, being invisible around others sucks ass. So if you feel like that, then why not be on your own? Who gives a flying fuck if they can’t take care of themselves-mind the littles though-it doesn’t even sound like it’s worth it anymore.


  3. SD Gates says:

    It’s nice to hear from you. I have been quiet on the blogging front, seems like life is sucking every ounce out of me presently. I feel invisible too, and have decided to take matters into my own hands, and do the things that are important to me. I find, people (especially family) will drain everything you have, and then just go off and suck the life out of the next victim and not give what’s left of you a second thought.


  4. I was actually using the phrase reluctant parent in my course design and also a chapter in my book. Nice to meet you ! You are excellent. Very creative and focused person. Must be very frustrating. You both are actually accomplishing a lot in a day and that’s why it seems so hectic. hang in there guys. you are such an inspiration for feeling helpless and wanting to give up. Thanks for sharing. Brave of you to share! LOVE IT!


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