we have an arrangement with the teenager. He picks up the downstairs and his game room so that the cleaning lady can vacuum and mop the floors without having to pick up a bunch of shit. I reminded him last night, casually, that the cleaning lady was coming tomorrow and that he had to clean up down here. He said "she should do it, that’s what she’s getting paid for. I relayed this to the wife last night and she said "I hope he was joking". It’s so hard for me to tell and I told her that.
This morning, the wife came out and says "He didn’t clean up down here, what did he say to you?" I said "he didn’t say anything. I’ll just tell the cleaning lady to not clean his…" "No, I’m calling him", she said, interrupting my sentence. I stormed off into the bedroom to gather some laundry to do and when I came out she said "I told him that he’s got to be up by ten or you’ll scream at him". She was out the door on the way to work and I sarcastically said "oh, that’ll work." she said "what?" and I said "Screaming at him". She said "You can".
Now for those of you who won’t interrupt me, here was my idea for consequences for being a lazy person who takes no responsibility for anything, not even being the squeaky wheel to ask for more hours at work so he can have a little more spending money.
I tell the cleaning lady not to clean his game room, bedroom or the bathroom but to do the kids rooms.
He doesn’t go to his larping or hang out with his stupid friend and instead spends Saturday cleaning said areas.
I have noticed that all these problems have been happening since he’s been hanging out with a friend who is a bit older but that’s just my hypothesis.
You might wonder "why don’t the kids clean up after themselves" and if you have that question it’s a good one.
A friend of ours asked my wife why she didn’t ever have the kids put back toys before getting more out and she said "it’s too stressful".
I really do feel a lot of times like I’m totally alone in the parenting thing and sure, I can ask them to pick up toys and the like which I should probably do but at what point do you say this is supposed to be a team effort and then at what point are things so far beyond that idea where it feels like there’s not a lot of hope left to salvage that team?
I don’t have any of these answers and this morning I felt very close to telling her that I’m done with this shit.