I think I have done pretty damn well not nagging the teenager to do what little chores he has around here and still, nothing is getting done. This morning when he came back from football he said "I’ll take the trash out after I finish lunch and go upstairs."
During lunch he gets on his stupid phone talking to his girlfriend and after lunch does he take out the trash and recycle?
I don’t have to answer the question, I just felt like asking something obvious for a change.
I am tempted next time he’s down here and the wife is there, to simply sweep all the recycle off of the counter onto the floor and then telling him to take it out one piece at a time.
The wife knows that it’s not taken out and all she says is "I agree with you." but nothing ever changes, nothing, ever.
I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
If I remind him when he’s downstairs, I’m a nag. If I don’t, it doesn’t get done.
The wife asked him to pick up some tools from upstairs and he didn’t do it so she just went up there to pick them up herself. I said "just tell him to do it." She just said "fuck it, I’m done".
With reinforcement like that, is it any wonder I’m in a losing situation where I feel that every single day of my miserable life is a complete loss?
He came downstairs finally and I said "give me your phone. I’m keeping it for a week." The wife says "You know that’s not going to work because he has a tablet and computer too." and then the teenager said "do you want those too?"
I feel like I’m slipping closer and closer to a dark precipice but I’m adult enough to just walk away instead of breaking. that’s the conventional wisdom from a person who says that she’s not normal and doesn’t "do normal".
I honestly think I have a bigger problem because I’ve resorted to a bit of self-abuse and this is really hard for me to write about but My rationale is "at least I’m not hitting the kids which would result in potential other problems.
Cognitively I understand the very real dangers of this behavior but screaming at the top of my lungs would scare the kids and I don’t need to go there.
I’m sure I need some sort of professional help but I’m not sure what that would be and I think if anyone I knew personally found out that I was engaging in a bit of this sort of behavior, I’m almost sure they would all think that I was crazy so I haven’t told anyone, not even friends of mine who I’ve known for years and years.
This has only been going on for a couple of months and there’s not really a pattern and I’ve read about other people who do this though I haven’t read extensively on the subject.