it’s a long long day with the kids already. they were up at 6:12 this morning and we had a little fun later in the morning when they wanted me to tickle them with a puppet on the couch and then while they were bouncing in the trampoline we have in the family room.
The little girl has been asking all morning "is it lunch time yet" because she wants m&m’s that her mom has in her office.
I asked the teenager to go to the grocery store yesterday and he said "after I get back from the park with my friends". I asked ‘what time will that be" and he said "I don’t know."
I relayed this little encounter to the wife who said "it’s not like we needed anything right away and as long as he goes tonight, it doesn’t matter to me." In my mind I thought "It’s the principle of doing what’s required first and then playing" but why bother even saying that.
No one in this house ever listens to a single word I say and at this very moment, I just feel that it’s all pointless and why should I even bother with any of it?
I apologized to the teenager last night for yelling at him after he got back from the store because, even though I know there’s an important principle to try to at least instill, even if I really am going it alone in so many respects, reacting that way may have been the result of being frustrated with so many other things other than him wanting to go off with his friends before a small grocery errand that wouldn’t have taken too much time to begin with.
He said something about "it’s okay, I got back at you in my own way" and I really don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.
The wife says that she wants to start cooking again and she says that it’s complicated because we all like different things.
Sure I’m a vegetarian and she says that a lot of the recipes she found are casseroles, that’s the only way she can think of to get the kids to eat anything nutritious but I’d bet you that a lot of the ingredients in those casseroles are canned or processed foods like Velvita which is all crap anyway and that’s why I don’t like it.
When I was a kid, one of my friends asked me if it was annoying to my mom that I was a vegetarian and I said no because I would just eat everything except the meat.
My mom cooked whole meals though, meat, potatoes or rice and vegetables and even now, after 11 years of marriage, when I ask the wife what is in a lot of the dishes that she’s thinking of making, she just says "they all have meat in them so you won’t eat them". She always forgets that you can modify or just leave the meat out of a dish, or even do a smaller portion in a separate casserole dish.
See how I always feel that almost nothing in my life is a winnable situation for me, no matter what options I try to present to overcome problems that she thinks are insurmountable? Oh but I should just eat good and exercise and I’ll feel better about myself. sure, that’s part of the equation but it’s not nearly the most important part and no one seems to see that except me, and you guys, the readers of this blog.
So thanks again for reading and commenting if you’d like. I really do appreciate all of you, though I don’t say it a whole lot.