feeling introspective

this isn’t such a bad thing, but I’m having one of those days when I just want to write but I’m not sure what to write about. Have you ever had those moments?

I haven’t really written a lot in the blog for a couple of reasons.

First, I’ve been working on new music and I’d like to thank you guys for listening to and commenting on my work. To know it has an impact further than I could have concieved is indeed humbling and I am deeply honored to be a part of something greater than myself, if that makes sense.

I think the second piano cd is finished, though it’s a hell of a lot more experimental and weird than the first one, though it doesn’t start out that way, at least in the way that I have the tracks ordered now.

I’ve finished up a second collaboration with wings of an Angel, the first one will be out in august.

I admire the bloggers who can just freely say what’s on their mind without filtering anything and for myself, I too aspire to eventually get to that point for myself. A lot of times, I have a head full of thoughts and I want to write about everything but since that’s not posible, I have to choose a path and I know that am horrible about making decisions. The wife can validate this point and sometimes when faced with two directions or two seemingly conflicting paths or ideas, I’ll do nothing, at least for a bit until I can decide onwhich way to go.

Well, to some people it would probably look like I’m "doing nothing" but that’s not the case at all.

When I was a kid and I had a decision to make, I would make lists of the pros and cons that I could think of for each decisions and if the good outweighed the bad, I’d go with whatever decision worked out that way.

but then some decisions should be so simple like what do I want for lunch? There will be a refrigerator and pantry full of food and none of it will sound good so I’ll make the decision not to decide and simply not eat anything.

It’s quiet here today, the little ones are in school and I guess the teenager is upstairs sleeping. He’s supposed to be pulling carpet off the stairs but he gets pissy whenever I remind him to do anything so I just don’t feel like reminding him of this task. He’s always listened to his mother more anyway.

I want to hug someone, I want to be held and I want intimacy, is this the part where I need to say trigger warning? Not asking to be sarcastic but is there a specific list of subjects that constitutes putting this in place?

I’ve seen some blogs that have tritter warning in the subject and if I’m going to need to use that system, which I’m totally okay with, what are the parameters, if any to implementing it?

When I was a child, my parents used to call me Spock because I was always so logical and I would deliberate forever on the simplest of decisions.

I once told my wife that, the part about being logical and she just busted out laughing.

My dad once told me that "if I asked you what time it was, you’d tell me how to build a watch" and my brother called me a "neuron with tennis shoes".

Here’s the latest song I wrote today which pretty much fits my mood, not exactly sad but not really happy either.

http://soundcloud.com/sklawlor/bells-for-an-imaginary

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5 thoughts on “feeling introspective

  1. No you don’t need a trigger warning if you’re talking about something like intimacy and wanting/needing human connection. Trigger warning is more for when you talk about a subject like abuse or trauma or suicide. You’re fine. I’m impressed you opened like this today. I’m do eenie meenie miney moe to make a decision or even flip a coin. close my eyes and point to the map. But that’s me. No offense, but your wife sounds very insensitive and emotionally cut off. That’s sad to me..maybe because I’m such an emotional creature. I’m the human barometer. Don’t get me started on the teenager… 🙂

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    • well, I’d say that you’re correct in some ways. The wife isn’t nearly as emotional as I am and I always kid her about being a borg or android.

      Okay, here’s something a little bit sexual to demonstrate the point and I really am a bit nervous about writing this but I’ll do it anyway.

      One day she was playing with me which hasn’t happened in years and after I came, she just laid there looking and I asked her what she was doing and she said that she was studying the properties of the seamen. I thought to myself, a borg would do that shit. I hope I didn’t offend anyone with that little bit of info.

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  2. Yes and it has Haley Joel Osment in it I believe. I was thinking about Will Smith, but his movie was called I, Robot. Oh, and here’s the link to this 100 questions site I found
    http://allisimpson.com/100-random-questions-to-ask-people

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