the lazy house chronicles part 6: a punch to the face is in order

You know, I think I have the most fucking ridiculous life sometimes. It seems that way to me anyway.

The wife went to cosco, I think it was on Saturday and when she got home, and I had put everything away, I got a package of toilet paper, gave it to the teenager and said "Please take this up stairs.

that was Saturday, it is now Thursday and the fucking six pack of toilet paper is still sitting on the bar under his jacket.

I’m going to start my very own "punch in the face club" with him and the wife as the first and only members.

I know exactly what is going to happen. (A whole note scale plays on the keyboard as the soothsayer gets out his crystal ball and balances it over the head of the unsuspecting wife who is working).

He’ll get a vivid image in his mind of the teenager phoning him saying "I’m out of toilet paper" and the response will be "Get your fucking ass down here and get the god damned fucking toilet paper that you fucking left on the god damned bar a fucking week ago".

The soothsayer, in fury, knocks the crystal ball where it shatters on the head of the wife who still doesn’t know what happened because she’s on a phone call.

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5 thoughts on “the lazy house chronicles part 6: a punch to the face is in order

  1. SD Gates says:

    Hopefully he will get a rash from not using the appropriate wiping implement and it will be a sore reminder (no pun intended) that he needs to make sure there is toilet paper in the bathroom!

    Like

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