I started wondering what was it about people writing prequels and then it hit me, it’s probably all the stuff the author wanted to write before but either didn’t because there wasn’t enough room in whatever book was being written at the time, or, more accurately, it’s the case where you think, "I should someday write the backstory to how all this got started". Maybe that’s what this will be, who the fuck knows? I’ve had some wine so if you add a bit of tipsy to my tendency of being "stream of consciousness" in my writing, you’ll have what the wife likes to refer to as a literary "clusterfuck". She likes to use that word to define how things don’t work out, usually in her career. I’m waiting for the time she comes back with both children from an outing and she says "that was a total clusterfuck". That sounds familiar, so maybe it happened already, I can’t say for sure.
The lazy house, oh how lax it is, how full of sloth it can be, the lethargy is palpable on a lot of days. alright, alright, now I’m being, as the wife would also say "Ridiculous" another word she likes to use a lot of the time. I once took the sound of a baby squeaky toy and turned it into this insane industrial noise track and she said "that’s ridiculous" and "that isn’t art".
So back to the lazy house. the wife freely admits that she is lazy and she admits that the teenager is also lazy, something that I think she looks past, not as a fault because "he’s a good kid" and "at least he’s not on drugs" and "at least he doesn’t lie". bla, bla, bla.
expounding on the virtues of a person doesn’t exempt that person from flaws and it’s just an easy way to sweep that under the rug, like when I went through a pretty depressive episode once, she’d say "you just need to exercise more" and that sort of thing.
But those two have always been lazy. the teenager won’t bring his towels down from the upstairs for weeks at a time, even as long as a month and when his friends would come over, they’d ask if they could borrow a towel because there weren’t any in the upstairs bathroom. The towels were just in a big pile in his room or, I remember one time, I went into his bathroom because it was closer and I was upstairs anyway, and I noticed that the cupboard door was opened a little. Being a little curious, I looked inside and it was full of dirty clothes. I had to walk away before I opened the door and flung the clothes all over his bathroom.
am I the only one who takes initiative around here to do anything that needs to get done?
The wife doesn’t clean, we have a cleaning lady which is fair really because, there are things that are difficult for me to do well like sweeping, though I do try to sweep around the kitchen table. No one else will unless I ask and even then it’s not done very well.
She hasn’t cooked a regular meal for the family on a regular basis for months and she told me the other week that it bothers her that her friends come before her family because I told her that she needs to get out and do something for herself once in a while with a friend. She said "I don’t want to spend what little time I already have with the children away from them".
She said "I’m not a good mother, a good wife or a good employee". that was around a month ago.
I’m used to asking for help and I’ve had to do it all of my life in one way or another so it astounds me that, in this relationship, I have to ask for help with stuff, things that, if it was anyone else, I’d almost guess that in a lot of cases, the two partners would be there for each other offering to help without having to be asked. Maybe I’m expecting too much but she was the one who always said "no expectations, no disappointments. And perhaps that’s the laziest way to live that there is, I don’t know.