I asked the little girl to please empty the silverware out of the dishwasher after she finished her cupcake and washed her hands. She didn’t do it so a couple of minutes, I asked again, still no meaningful response, and then a third time with no change in activity.
After a couple more times asking, even saying "I can’t put the new silverware in the dishwasher until you empty it for me" I got exasperated and said "Oh never mind, I’ll do it myself">
The wife who is on her ass playing a game on her fucking stupid phone says "and that’s why they don’t listen to you, you give in too easy."
I said "Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?" She said "I don’t know, I’m just telling you that’s why they don’t listen.
How many times should I have asked, 5, 10, 27, 53, or let’s go for an even fucking 100 times!
The wife made a comment earlier about how they’ll listen to her more because she’ll spank butts but she doesn’t, she just threatens a spanking claiming "sometimes the threat is all that’s needed and they’ll listen".
It at these kinds of moments when I don’t feel like I’m good at all at the whole parenting thing and I feel that they’d be better off having someone else as their dad and though in my head, I know that’s a very emotional reaction, it’s still there and I wonder if it’s symptomatic of a more profound issue?
I remember one time a couple of years ago, the little girl purposely peed on the couch in the family room. I spanked her pretty severely because, not only did I want to impress on her little mind that this was wrong but that she also shouldn’t do it again. So as a lot of parents probably do, and probably as we who are parents can remember as kids, some of the spanks were delivered with words, like "you don’t piss on the couch" and "is this fun?" because, before I spanked her, I asked her why she peed on the couch and she said "because it’s fun".
After that, the wife came out and said "Do you have any idea how many times you spanked her?" She said 12. They weren’t hard spanks and she didn’t cower in fear at all any time after that. The wife said "I have no words’ and then "so where do you want to go?"
We talked it out some and she said "You can’t touch the children"> So where the hell does that leave me?
It’s okay for her to threaten spanking but if I do it, especially in a situation where I feel that it’s justified and will impress upon the child’s mind the very concrete reality that what he or she did isn’t acceptable, then what’s left? Time outs work a little but I just feel so fucking defeated all the fucking time around here.
You guys don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to physically bang my head into a wall enough that I lose consciousness for a time to escape this feeling of defeat and feeling that no one around here listens or even respects my opinions on much.
I don’t want to put a hole in the wall with my head and have the added expense of having to replace that so, like she needs that shit on top of everything else.
At least I got out to have breakfast with a lovely dear friend of mine and that has lifted my mood significantly, so much so, that writing about what happened a few minutes ago wasn’t something that put me in the usual downer mood that I feel after some of this stupid shit happens, if that all makes sense.
So, thank you, my friend for your company, for your understanding and for helping me get out a little more. It means more than you can know.