Lazy house Chronicles, part 3 my wife, not my friend

If the saying goes "I get by with a little help from my friends" I guess the wife doesn’t qualify as a friend.

After she made dinner for the kids, she went back into her office and when she did come out to sit her lazy ass on the fucking couch, the little girl asked her to help with her tablet and said "Mommy, can you come here?" The wife said "No, you can come over here."

At that moment, the little boy had to pee so she said "Can you take him pee while I help with her tablet?"

I took him to the bathroom and, behold, was there any fucking toilet paper on the roll? Hell no, even though there are rolls in the cabinet right next to the fucking toilet.

After a while, the little girl said "Daddy, he’s pooping".

I said "go to the changing table" and I got him up there and the wife was back in her office and I asked her to help me? she said "with what?" I felt fucking defeated so exasperatedly said "Never mind, I’ll do it".

I got him cleaned up and she asked him "did you poop in your underwear?" He said "yeah" and she said "that’s bad, get in time out".

she deserves the mother Teresa golden medal award for offering to help, no matter what the situation was.

I wanted to bang my head into the wall until I lost consciousness and I actually have literally hit my head against the wall a time or two but it didn’t do anything, to my dismay.

And so it has come to pass, that another exasperating chapter of the lazy house comes to a close..

The day wasn’t a complete loss though as I got to go out

to lunch and spend some quality time with a dear dear friend of mine so I’m very happy about that.

It’s almost time to put the kids to bed so that’s enough blogging for now.


7 thoughts on “Lazy house Chronicles, part 3 my wife, not my friend

  1. SD Gates says:

    Oh that sounds like a crappy day. Glad you got to get out and be a normal adult for a while. Had those days myself, the whole house is going to hell and someone just keeps ‘resting’ while the rest of us scurry.


    • you’re right, we live mirrored lives. Just curious, do you and your husband talk about the lazy issue or is it a case where he’ll counteract your position with his own brand of logic and discourse which is sensible to him but really isn’t that sound, if that makes sense?

      Liked by 1 person

      • SD Gates says:

        Oh no, I have given up talking about it. It becomes an explosive conversation that turns around onto me about how he is always being belittled and I turn everything around and make him the one at fault. I have learned over the last 20 years it is better to just do what needs to be done and leave him in the depths of mordor (and Sci-Fi) then ask him to do anything. I am happier that way. I let him think he is in control, but yet me and my sons make all the decisions and tell him about it later. He always goes on about how he is left out of the loop, but he really has no idea – how much out of the loop we leave him.


      • that sounds a little confusing. how do you make him think he’s got control and in the loop when he’s really not? I’m trying to work that out in my head.

        Liked by 1 person

      • SD Gates says:

        It has taken 20 years to perfect. Ask him just enough so he feels like he has some input, and then go do what we were going to do anyway. I pick my battles.


      • We’ve been married for almost 11 years.

        Liked by 1 person

      • SD Gates says:

        Actually I have been thinking about this all morning. My husband is a good egg – he just isn’t as obsessive as I am. True he defers to me on a lot of stuff, just because I am much more patient and have the tolerance to sit on the phone and get stuff done. In marriage, I think you learn each other’s weaknesses and strengths and after a while they just kind of meld together – but it is definitely hard work and quite frustrating and exhausting at times.


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