In spending some of my Sunday morning on twitter, which, incidentally, is a time vampire, not unlike car dealerships but in a much more pleasant way, and after reading the many "happy mother’s day" tweets to people who rightly deserve the accolade and should have such appreciation on every other day aside from that one, it brought to mind the strangeness that is mine and my wife’s relationship, at least in some ways.
We’re odd because we don’t like normal but even some of the things we don’t do seem a bit strange to our odd friends who also don’t like or aren’t "normal".
She doesn’t celebrate Mother’s day at all and doesn’t like anyone to wish her a happy Mother’s day. If someone does, she’ll be cordial about it but I know that inside she’s uneasy about the verbal recognition.
Neither one of us celebrate our birthday and we have different reasons for not doing so.
My reasons probably have more to do with a feeling of low self-esteem and feeling that I’m not that big of a deal really. I once told someone a long time ago that I didn’t celebrate my birthday because it just wasn’t a big deal. She said to me "you’re special and you should celebrate that" or something along that idea.
For her birthday, she just wants cake. lol.
We don’t give Christmas gifts to each other, except for the first year we were married. I can’t quite remember why but I do remember that she got me a dvd set of the first season of happy days which is one of my all-time favorite shows from the 70’s. Being blind, I had a bit of a difficult time with the menu structure and going from one episode to the other on our dvd player at the time.
I don’t remember what I got her that year for Christmas but after that, we just decided that if we wanted something, we could just get it.
I wonder if part of the reason she doesn’t like to be told "happy Mother’s day" is because the one-off recognition of achievement with an annual day to recognize what happens consistently throughout the rest of the year, somehow minimizes that very achievement by being relegated to a national holiday wherein people feel obligated on some level to wish the doer of good and necessary deeds a verbal token of recognition that mothers don’t often receive or feel that they get very much of in the first place?
I don’t know if that all makes sense and I’m not one to dismiss the importance or significance of days like this, unlike the stupid irrelevant day set aside for cupid and his aimless arrows made of worthless candy and flowers. Now that is full blown Sinicism.
But I really do wish all the mothers a heartfelt happy mother’s day, not just today but I recognize the work that you do throughout the rest of the year. Take the day for yourself if you can, do something for yourself if you’re able to and know that you are appreciated on more than just the one day of the year where people have a societal obligation to recognize that achievement.