some fucking mother

the children went out to play in a sprinkler this morning while the wife was sanding some posts in the front yard so that she could stain them later.

After the little girl came in, she asked her mom to dry her off with the towel. The wife said "you can do it yourself" and the little girl said "I don’t know how" and the wife said "Lean, I have to call a friend about a house".

I tried to show her how to dry herself off by taking the towel and rubbing it over parts of my body, (arms, tummy, etc.) and by this time she was crying so I knew that she wouldn’t be able to learn anything under these conditions so I just did it for her. It fucking pissed me off that the wife couldn’t take two fucking minutes out of her god damned day to teach her how to do this and by the time I had gotten around to trying, it wouldn’t work because she was so upset that the wife didn’t help.

So once again, she is putting a friend before her family, the very thing that she said a couple of weeks bothered her deeply. She’s a fucking hypocrite and full of shit.

too much stimulation

sometimes it’s just all too much, no, I’m not talking about the Beatles song from 1968 but the noise of the children, even when they’re playing together. The little boy makes this annoying noise and I just want to run away and hide somewhere. This morning is a perfect example and I’m not sure what it is about his noises that’s making me want to run off but it’s a sound that I can’t handle sometimes. I get that way when the teenager is talking nonstop to the wife about reptiles or football, maybe it’s the frequency of voices, I don’t know.

during a lot of those times, if I can, I just go to get a shower because I haven’t been able to all day anyway.

The little girl is back to normal and her and I had breakfast this morning. the wife went to get Panera for all of us so that was nice.

A lot of times hearing the kids play together is cute because it doesn’t happen that often so I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t like that at all.

I’ve got some new ideas for musical projects and I haven’t been able to work on any music at all this week, except for one thing so that’s unusual for me.

whatever

Last night, the teenager was pissy because Cindy and I were in the kitchen talking while he was watching his stupid youtube video while eating at the table and he said "I’m just going to pause this until you guys are done". She said "I was finished anyway so I’m leaving". Most of the time, I’m the one who gets dinner for the little ones anyway and they don’t really use tablets at the table.

Leah is feeling a lot better, though she did have one instance of diarrhea but she still hasn’t felt like eating anything.

I told the wife that I’m going to have the teenager make up the guestroom bed because I don’t feel like it. She said "that works" and then she said "have his friend do it, he sleeps in that room anyway". I said ‘No, I want him to do it and if he asks why or says I’ll do it in a minute or a second or later, I’m going to go postal and punch him in the face". She said "You couldn’t catch him to punch him in the face". I said "then you do it". and she said "I can’t catch that guy either. I’ll just take his truck away. Oh wait, that would be punishing me more than him".

What the fuck ever.

the irony never ends

the wife came out to the kitchen to make some lunch and said "I really wanted a sandwich" I said "well, how much turkey is left?" She said 2 pieces but I use three." I said "if people would let me know when things are about to run out around here, I could go out to the freezer and get more." She said "if certain people would go out to the freezer and get stuff when it starts to run low we wouldn’t have this problem. I always get the short end of the stick around here". I wanted to laugh my ass off but that’s not where I hold the extra weight so it wouldn’t have done any good anyway.

The teenager doesn’t do shit around here and I know that she’s responsible for that but it’s me who has to deal with the consequences of that as well, like hearing her bitch about how he never ever gets anything from the freezer.

I was going to say, "the next time he makes a sandwich or has dinner down here, take his tablet away and don’t let him watch his stupid YouTube videos during dinner until he can start bringing things in form the outside freezer when they run out in here".

She would have given me some fucking shitty logic as to why that wouldn’t work and how it wouldn’t address the problem.

taking things literally is for her convenience alone

the little girl had a fever today for a while and it seems to have broken as far as we can tell.

I said "she won’t be able to go to school or gymnastics tomorrow".

The wife said "School no, but gymnastics, yes".

I said "We don’t know how long she’s had the fever". She said "it doesn’t matter, she has to be fever free for 24 hours".

I said "gymnastics will fall within that 24 hour window".

She said "barely".

It’s a wonder I even try to give my thoughts on anything regarding any situation under any circumstances around here at all.

fuck this shit, I need wine god damn it.

I just don’t understand, really

I told the wife that the little girl should probably have some pedialight because she’s thrown up three times today and she said "it’s not that bad really" and "I’ll explain it to you if you want to know".

She proceeds to tell me that "what that’s really for is runny diariah and not a one day stomach bug. We’ll spend $20 on a little bottle of pedialight for her to maybe drink and it comes right back up". I said, ‘sure, if she drinks it that would happen but if she sips it slowly, it’s going in slowly so the system has time to adjust to something being introduced to it".

She said ‘that’s not going to help a stomach bug and she’s got enough on her bones where it doesn’t really matter".

It’s a fucking wonderful life affirming feeling to be counteracted all the fucking time on every fucking issue I bring up around here.

the lazy house chronicles part 6: a punch to the face is in order

You know, I think I have the most fucking ridiculous life sometimes. It seems that way to me anyway.

The wife went to cosco, I think it was on Saturday and when she got home, and I had put everything away, I got a package of toilet paper, gave it to the teenager and said "Please take this up stairs.

that was Saturday, it is now Thursday and the fucking six pack of toilet paper is still sitting on the bar under his jacket.

I’m going to start my very own "punch in the face club" with him and the wife as the first and only members.

I know exactly what is going to happen. (A whole note scale plays on the keyboard as the soothsayer gets out his crystal ball and balances it over the head of the unsuspecting wife who is working).

He’ll get a vivid image in his mind of the teenager phoning him saying "I’m out of toilet paper" and the response will be "Get your fucking ass down here and get the god damned fucking toilet paper that you fucking left on the god damned bar a fucking week ago".

The soothsayer, in fury, knocks the crystal ball where it shatters on the head of the wife who still doesn’t know what happened because she’s on a phone call.